just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
