the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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