would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You are a genius and a whore.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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