Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
