your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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