Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
