Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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