I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
