sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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