i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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