I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
