At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
