Christians are straight up FREAKS
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
