I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
