Three words: puerto rican gang bang
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
