Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So squirting runs in the family.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
