Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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