You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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