i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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