hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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