did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize