Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize