so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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