I wish I could teleport
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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