i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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