i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
