i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
