Tell her she can't have a vagina
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
