my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
