I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
