i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize