Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
