Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
