I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
