His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
