Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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