he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize