the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
did i just pee glitter
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
