Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
