Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
