I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
