i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize