this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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