GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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