She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
