$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
