meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
