Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize