I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
