Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
