Apparently you make a good broom.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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