HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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