The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize