I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
