there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
