I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
